Just after Christmas a few of us met for a drink at the pub.
We talked about this and that, then suddenly, with a flourish deserving of a thespian, my friend Rosey produced a crumpled piece of paper from her overstuffed handbag.
‘These’ she proclaimed ‘are my New Year revolutions’
‘I think you mean resolutions’ Jonny suggested.
‘Whatever’ she said, ‘although according to the dictionary, a revolution is a sudden, fundamental and complete change in one’s way of thinking’. She pressed her thumb to her nose and wiggled her fingers!
When the laughter calmed down we realised she was serious. She’d heard that a good way to help stick to your resolutions is to write them down and get your friends to witness them with their signatures. So off she went.
‘One – be more organised’.
Unfortunately, she’d forgotten to bring a pen, so she borrowed one from the bartender!
‘Two – be less clumsy.
Three – drink less.
Four – always be on time.
Five – stop swearing’.
We each added our squiggle and Amanda drew a smiley face.
A couple of evenings later we went to the Bulls Head to see in the New Year. Four of us were sitting around a little table beside the log fire. Rosey was late. Fashionably late she called it when she arrived!
She drank a little more than usual, knocked over my pint and cursed quietly hoping not to be heard.
‘Resolutions Rosey?’ I reminded her.
‘It’s not midnight yet!’ she giggled.
‘It is now’ Andy said as a bell chimed in the New Year.
Everybody in the pub wanted to give Rosey a kiss, so she tried working her way around employing an organised route. It went wrong. Some got three kisses, some none! Resolution one off to a rocky start.
She barged her way back completely unaware that beer and wine was sploshing in her wake. So much for resolution two.
An hour later number three had gone straight out the window, but everyone was having a little too much to drink that night.
As for resolution four, we all agreed she was a little late in offering to buy her round of drinks, particularly as the pub was about to close!
‘So that’s four of your resolutions broken Rosey’ I laughed. ‘Just number five to go’.
‘Oh, **** the revolutions’ she giggled as she zig-zagged her way to the door!