My friend Rosey loves dressing up. She went to a baby shower the other day wrapped from head to foot in toilet paper. She said it was the closest she’d ever get to being a mummy!
Last month, Posh Pierre invited several of us for a posh banquet at his posh apartment. I thought I’d wear my wedding/funerals suit and bow tie and reminded Rosey to wear something fancy. She arrived dressed as Kermit! She thought I meant fancy dress. It took her a week to wash the green food-dye from her face!
At school, the kids see her as one of them rather than a staff member, so unsurprisingly they wanted her to be in the Nativity Play. They even threatened strike action if the headmistress didn’t agree! Rosey appeared as the third palm tree from the right. That was two years ago. Last year she was an angel and this Christmas she’s been promoted to a shepherd called Frank which she says makes sense because he’ll be the one giving Jesus frankincense!
It was the school’s Harvest Festival last month. The kids place harvest related things on a table like apples, oats, blackberries, sweetcorn, and bread made from locally milled flour. The parents and kids burst into laughter when Rosey appeared dressed as a farmer wearing muddy boots, baggy trousers, a scruffy jacket, and a cloth cap, whilst sucking on a sprig of wheat! Then she added her contribution to the table, a plastic-wrapped sliced loaf from the supermarket.
In the carnival procession, she was a carrot, for Halloween she became a ghost, at the horticultural event she wore a flower pot on her head, and at the dog show she dressed as a cat!
That’s my friend Rosey.