Rosey really shouldn’t have said that

I was standing at the bar ordering a round of drinks and Rosey came to help me carry them back to the table. Next to us stood a girl with her fella’.

Anyway, Rosey being the friendly sort, looked at the girls expansive middle and asked ’When is it due?’ With that, the poor girl’s eyes filled with what Rosey assumed were tears of joy. Then she looked at Rosey and spluttered ‘Why do people keep asking me that? I am trying to lose weight, I really am’.

With that, the tearful young lady scurried away with her boyfriend scrambling to keep up. Rosey was mortified and suggested she catch up with them and apologise, but I told her it would be best if she let it be. She would probably have dug herself in the mire even deeper!

Come to think of it, something similar to this happened once before. She saw a somewhat rotund young lady who clearly liked to stand out from the crowd by wearing bright clothes and extreme makeup. As I remember she was wearing an orange and white check top over a pair of baggy grass-green trousers. Rosy looked at her and said ‘Don’t tell me…you are…Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall’. The girl looked perplexed. ‘I beg your pardon? She asked. ‘You are going to a fancy dress party…. aren’t you?’ said Rosey.

Anyway, back at the table with our gang, conversation centred on diets, weight and the highly fashionable term Body Mass Index! Rosey, after her embarrassing mistake was in a world of her own, so I tried to bring her in by asking her what her BMI was. She looked at me as if I was stupid and said ‘It’s a Mercedes silly, you know that’.

She suddenly came alive as she saw the chance to start a discussion on her favourite topic of the moment, her proposed new car!

Regular readers will know that Rosey currently drives a Mercedes SLK sports job in pale lilac courtesy of her father who owns a Merc dealership. Well, Daddy decided it would be a good move in the current economic climate if his darling daughter downsized to one of those little Smart cars. And she is so excited!

She said she saw one in pink and white the other day and on the back, a sign said powered by fairy dust. We explained that it was just a pretty bumper sticker, nothing more. She thought for a moment then said ‘I know – I’m not stupid’.

Then she said ‘the other day when you said Sally’s car ran on angels breath – that was a joke too, wasn’t it?’

Anyway, a little later the girl and her boyfriend came over to us. She said she was sorry for snapping at Rosey and in no time at all we were all chatting as if we’d known each other for years. And it was then that Rosey saw a rather unfortunate spot on the end of the girl’s nose……….